I have the craziest dreams. Very vivid. Never a dull moment. For the 14 years I ‘abstained’ from the Caribbean due to trying to put myself back together after being tossed around, stepped on & spit on by life – that’s putting it mildly – I continuously dreamt of being there, being on vacation, but it was always my last day. And I forgot to go to the beach. I’m freaking out. “How could you forget to go to the beach ?! It’s the whole reason you’re here!!” It’s an awful feeling of helplessness cuz there’s nothing I can do, & complete incomprehension as to how that is even possible, without even consciously considering that that would absolutely not be possible. In ‘real life’ that would NEVER happen. The minute I get to my resort, I’m at the beach.
When dreaming, I never realize I’m dreaming. There’s no question – when I’m in a dream, I think that THAT is reality, that I am awake, going about my day. Even when certain things make no sense, I don’t even realize – until, that is, I finally had my first Lucid Dream. Every single time – while in a dream – I believe that that is reality. It never occurs to me that maybe I’m dreaming. I don’t even consider for a sec that it might not be the real reality, the one that I think is real when I’m in the state I consider is the real awake. Does that make sense to you?
I lived a Groundhog Day scenario for years in my dreams – every night I’d fall asleep & in my dream I’d be on vacation – every time I woke up in the dream it somehow my last day of vacation. I ‘d always oversleep, waking up in a panic, realizing it’s time to go back home & I totally forgot to go to the beach. The Universe, I believe, in part, was urging me to get back to Life. I was a disastrous mess for awhile after all the crap – but that was an important time – the Universe’s “Intensive Universal Training Camp of ‘Bring you to the brink of madness & then some’ Life Lessons.”
When I started really working on myself, trying to process, deal & heal from all the trauma, & became more self-aware, I realized it was a message, a strong message, that Spirit/Source/Divine/God/Whoever made us come here was trying to get my attention. Every night, for years, my Soul was longing to be back in the tropics I fell in love with on my first trip in ‘96, I just didn’t make the connection.
When I finally consciously realized what the dream was trying to tell me, the dreams finally started changing. The next time, I woke up at the beginning of my last day. It started with me being able to see the pool from my window, then the beach, progressing to me being able to get to them but not swim, etc., until I finally went in the water. That’s when I finally went on my first trip in 14 years, in 2012. That’s where I feel most at home, most in my element, in the tropics 🙂
So all of this is happening in what we call a Dream, a space &/or time that I believe, at the time, to be reality. I don’t seem to have a clue that I’m actually asleep at that moment. Or am I ?
Lucid Dreaming goes right up there with skydiving as the most thrilling things ever for me. I had my first & it was unbelievably incredible.
In this dream, it was a scene from my past – I was in the work building I used to work in in the 90’s – the one I left to take the Club Med job in the Caribbean. I was going about my day, walking in the hall, passing offices – but then when I approached the elevators, I noticed the fire. The elevators, the floor, the halls – the fire roared fiercely & I was looking for a way out. The stairs were blocked, we were trapped. I was in complete disbelief. I started to panic, to really freak out, sure I was going to die.
With each thought I seemed to go down a rabbit hole, down the ladder of consciousness. Or is it up? Pacing, my hands on my head, I head towards a corner & crouch down behind a big recycling bin. Each thought, progressing a little more –
To finally –
And Pouf! There I was conscious & aware in an unconscious world. Conscious in an ‘alternate reality’ (dreaming) & finally aware that I was not in the reality that I thought was the ‘real’ reality & had never once questioned. As I sit here & write this, I think I’m awake, & not in what we consider a dream. But how do I know for sure? Maybe this state we call awake is just another dream, & what we call dream is awake? Am I asleep right now, in a dream of an alternate reality, & so on – fun trying & wrap my mind around all that.
The instant I realized omg I am dreaming, it all disappeared. Gone. It just fell away. I was safe. Still processing what this meant, what I now instantly knew, & all of what I could do with this now – I popped right back out of the dream, literally. Poof – back in my bed. I remember it clearly, I felt like I was suctioned through a suction cup.
Becoming aware in what we call our ‘waking life’, & being able to achieve a conscious state in what we call our dream state, I think just may go hand-in-hand. Similar, but different. I knew the importance of awareness in our ‘waking life’, but not of the achieving consciousness while in the ‘dream state.’
I’ve had a few of these – but that was before I knew what they were. I used to think they were just dreams – until I read about them one day & I got total body goosebumps when I realized what I experienced. My mind is saying can’t be, how is this possible mumbo jumbo & tries to dismiss it. My Heart & Soul know though. I can pull up the memory at anytime & I’m right there again in that moment. Floating – just over my bed, right over my body. It’s dark, late at night. I can see myself, down there. I’m below me. I would just float around slowly, I remember feeling like a ball. I remember gently floating around the room, I’d lightly bounce of the walls if I came close to one. Just floating without a purpose, like a bumper-car, without a driver.
Unlike my dreams, where for 40 years it never occurred to me that I even MIGHT be dreaming – one lucid dream later, & everything has changed. I now know I want to achieve a conscious state while I’m asleep & “dreaming,” & see all I’d be able to do. Manipulate space, time, space time? It’s going to take practice & focus. I have yet to have another. I know I’m at the tip of a waterfall of Beauty 🙂 I’ve had many dreams since, but I’m still oblivious in them. I’m trying to train myself to ask myself, ‘Maybe you’re asleep/dreaming right now,’ so that it might become more natural to ask myself that while I’m asleep.
With the OBE, here’s the difference: I’M FULLY CONSCIOUS! Automatically. No effort required. It’s always & only happened on nights where my body was so friggen exhausted, that it fell asleep before my mind did. Then I would feel myself floating up to the ceiling. It got very windy. I heard a very loud train. There were flashing lights, like strobes; & the Vibrations. Insane. So unbelievably intense, they scare me – they’re what has kept me from succeeding again – I become gripped with fear. I haven’t had an OBE since I became consciously aware of what they were.
Oh but with Consciousness, what one can do !! There is such an incredible well of Love, Beauty & Magic in the Universe, seen when one figures out how to see with their ‘Spirit Eyes.’ Gotta keep working on developing, stretching & expanding my Consciousness.
So I can’t help but wonder that if every night I spend 8 hours in a place I thought was ‘reality‘, how do I know I’m not asleep & dreaming this ‘reality’ right now that I think I’m awake in ..
Where The Eagles Fly . . . . Art Science Poetry Music & Ideas
News from around
Art and Books
For bloggers who aspire to inspire
More on Health, Fitness and Weight Loss
spiritual poetic writings
random thoughts and tips
Life is now.