Toxic. Eww. Sounds as awful as the feeling I feel when around it. It took me a long time to truly understand it’s meaning – when used to describe people. When I did, I realized just how many (too many) toxic people I had in my life. Of course, never missing a beat, the Universe had some l’il life lessons wrapped up in the annoyance of their presence.
It taught me the importance of boundaries. It forced me to put on my big-boy-pants & find my voice. It taught me to stand up for myself. I realized – or rather, I decided that I am worthy of what I want, that I can, should & will create whatever life I choose, & that I matter. It taught me I am important – but more importantly it taught me that I am only as important & special as I think I am. I decide. Not anyone else. It all starts with a thought. Think it & it becomes. So you might as well start, sooner rather than later, to realize how amazing you are, how strong you are, how powerful you really are – for no other reason than the fact that You are You, and:
You won’t stand for anybody putting you down or constantly raining on your parade.
You will learn that in fact it has absolutely nothing to do with you – ‘never take anything personally’ (The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz – a must read – it’s never personal.) The quicker you realize that important one, the sooner you save yourself from a lot of unnecessary nonsense & the closer you get to personal freedom.
Toxic people are hurting, they aren’t in a good place. Hurt people hurt people, when they don’t realize the power they have to change their lives in an instant. So they try to pull others down to them, cuz they’re lonely, they’re scared. They’re not awake yet. So rather than rip ’em a new one by giving them a taste of their own medicine – as tempting as it may be & as I’ve mistakenly done in the past – we mustn’t.
What we must do is respond; not react & we respond by being kind & giving love 💘
Then you cut them out of your life. If you have to. Sometimes, you just have to; especially if they refuse to respect your boundaries.
Make sure to respect yourself enough to respect the boundaries you created & close the door & walk away. Even if it’s family. Especially if it’s family.
Recognize when those who claim to love you – do – but they love you conditionally; if you do *x* or don’t do *y*. That isn’t what love is. Love doesn’t trap – it Frees.
To truly love someone unconditionally is to allow them to be whoever they are, to give them room to figure it out for themselves, grow & evolve.
When those close to you & who you choose to let into your life accept you just the way you are, they love you unconditionally.
They get it. Hang onto them.